Jacksonville, Florida 1.27.09

Jacksonville, 1/27/09

Lil’ Dawg

I don’t like when Randy and Simon switch seats. Meh!

Sharon Wilbur: Her voice is okay but I really don’t like how she ends each line. The gulpy, baby voice is very Britney Spears.

T.K. Hash: SO CUTE! And he can sing. But I agree with Randy, his performance was kinda over the top.

My comments are short, as is my attention span for this show lately. I can’t wait for the top 24.

Tight Black T

The Jacksonville audition show started out with a look back at one of the hottest bands of the early 80’s – Journey – more specifically, their bass player, the one and only Randy Jackson. OMFG, the hair! My viewing companion and I could not stop laughing. Her comment – “it’s actually square!” And let’s just say that he is no Al “Boogie” Carty when it comes to the moves. Rolleyes

The reality of last night was that Randy’s hair was about the funniest and most exciting part of the night. Oh wait; there was Paula and Kara kissing. Yeah, even that could have been better. The lack of actual talent this season is evident in the amount of filler they need to use for a one hour show. Seacrest is getting an awful lot of screen time this season, outside of his usual time with the contestants. It seems like it will be a running joke between he and Simon about how he delivers his lines. I don’t get it. And last night they had him driving what looked like a golf cart and supposedly getting lost. Funny?

Okay, onto the “talent.” Justin Guarini look alike Joshua Ullo made it through despite Inspector Gadget sound effects. He had an okay voice and might actually be good if he stops messing around and just sings.

Sharon Wilbur and her dog Sasha made it through as well. She was cute and her voice was different, but there was a slightly annoying quality to it. It could have been the song choice or nervousness; we’ll have to see if it’s still there in Hollywood.

Kanewasa Finnie proved that confidence is not everything. Her mother said she had been singing all around Jacksonville since she was five. What she didn’t say is that she had left bleeding ears in her wake.

Julissia Veloz, Miss Florida Latina USA, was better than the judges expected, but as far as I’m concerned, not good enough to be put through, but she was. Is that where the bar is set these days – better than we expected?

Then we had the first odd, slightly uncomfortable moment of the night. Naomi Syke’s friend loves Randy Jackson, and so they told her to come into the audition room. The girl sat on Randy’s lap, while for some inexplicable reason; Seacrest sat on Kara’s lap with her hands on his chest, and Paula sat on Simon’s. Naomi was terrible of course, and they all laughed thinking it was a joke. Which it wasn’t, and then they all ended up consoling her. That’s been happening a lot lately.

Sixteen-year-old Jasmine Murray chose the very wrong song to show off her voice, Big Girls Don’t Cry, by Fergie (I loathe Fergie). But a good voice rose above a crappy song. As with Lenesha Young from last week, Jasmine has very commercial appeal.

Bearded 18-year-old physics student George Ramirez was my WTF moment of the night. His pre-audition package piece actually creeped me out. My viewing partner and I were astonished by his lack of hips or a butt. We’re not sure how his pants stayed up even with a belt. The boy was just plain odd. I have a cousin named George Ramirez and I know he has a kid of the same name about that age. All I can say is, we better not be related! Fear

Kara fan Ann Marie Boskovich didn’t really get to sing before they sent her away. I think something was lost in the editing because I didn’t get what they saw that they wanted to send her away to “come back a different person.” She came back a while later, having found a makeup artist on the street, a new pair of shoes, and ditching her jacket. She’s cute and has a nice voice, but as the judges said, she needs to find her star personality.

T.K. Hash is a 23-year-old cutie who didn’t make it last year and was back for another try. His version of “Imagine” was all over the place, with too many runs and changes in the melody. But, you can’t deny he has a nice voice and is pretty easy to look at! Hopefully they can teach him what to do with the lovely instrument he has.

And poor guitar guy Michael Perrelli, having to put down his guitar for the audition was too much for him to handle. I agree with Simon that he doesn’t have the kind of voice AI is looking for, but he does have a voice that I hear on the radio everyday. Do we need another, I don’t know. I didn’t think we needed another Nickelback sound-alike, but along came Daughtry!

Salt Lake City, the home of Archie, is up next tonight. I’m not sure if I can take another “oh gosh” AI contestant. I prefer the dirty bar singer types myself. Wink

Seacrest’s Hair
This is why we love American Idol: we get to pretend Jacksonville was named for Randy. Rolleyes All righty, then.

We’ve still got 1-hour shows this week, which is great, because we really can’t take much more suck than that at once. Even the sucky people don’t suck as hard as they used to. But they do surprise us right off the bat tonight by letting through the first person, Joshua Ulloa, who not only thinks people remember Justin Guarini, but also believes that he is a sound-effect machine. The judges are, inexplicably, taken with this.

Sharon Wilbur, who has the same hairdo as the “trashea/larnix” girl from last week, brings her poor dog along (it has a better hairdo). She’s squeaky, she’s whiny, she throws way too many crappy runs in there, and pronounces “baby” as “bay-bay”, like Britney. Oh yes. And while Paula tackles Kara with a kiss the way we used to kiss in fifth grade, with a hand between their lips (we figured that would prevent AIDS), Sharon is let through.

Seacrest goes off-roading in a golf cart, but comes back.

Dana Moreno thinks she’s a soprano and isn’t. Kaneswa Finnie’s mother thinks she can sing… nope. (However, Kaneswa would make a fine juniors fashion model, and Simon should’ve told her mother that.)

Julissa Veloz has a fascinating first name and a tiara… over a haircut we haven’t seen in about 35 years. She’s got an endearingly dorky laugh (well, endearing to us, maybe not to Simon) and her singing voice is rough around the edges. She disappears behind the wall o’ Idols with Paula and comes back with four yeses.

Darrin Darnell starts out as a social butterfly, but we think this dude needs lithium. He meets another auditioner, the other guy doesn’t get through, and Darrin is so upset that he can barely get through his audition. But that’s okay, because he would have been that horribly off-key anyway.

Naomi Sykes absolutely cannot sing, and actually kinda talks her way through her song. But her redheaded friend Samantha (who for some reason needed to meet Randy in slo-mo) is cute, and we’d like to know if maybe she can sing. Or meet us somewhere later.

Jasmine Murray sings a Fergie song like Fergie run through Cher’s voice-altering machine (which seems to be getting a workout this season). We don’t care for her, but Simon’s absolutely right that she’s commercial. Ugh. She’s through with four.

George Ramirez, who we have nicknamed “Amish”, has a weird, quiet, throaty, possible baritone, but its definitely monotone. He’s… disturbingly calm. Maybe he should cut down on his mood-levelers and give some to Darrin up there…

Anne Marie Boskovich loves Kara and gets sent away to give herself a quick “star power” makeover.

T.K. Hash has apparently been here before, although we don’t remember him. We have a notoriously bad memory, however. He’s good, but a bit florid — our opinion and Randy’s as well. He’s through, however.

Michael Pirelli is madly in love with his guitar, but unfortunately has never seen American Idol before. At least we must assume so, as he had no idea his audition had to be a cappella. He proceeds to fight a meltdown, blasts through “Jumper” (really blasts — we had to turn the volume down), and gets rejected and told to “get a real job and start a band”. We thought he wasn’t that bad, but he does need to quit doing the frat party covers and learn to write his own stuff. It’ll boost his confidence. And hey, he’s only 18… another 9 audition seasons available to him!

Anne Marie is back to finish her audition (and the day, thank God). She’s ditched her jacket and gotten sexed up by a makeup artist. She could be a total sexpot, then sings “Bubbly”… okay then. She’s through to Hollywood, and will hopefully show up a hell of a lot hotter. (Not that there’s anything wrong with the girl-next-door look she was rockin’ before, but… we need a sexpot.)

Simon is just as glad as we are that this city is history. Next up… Salt Lake City (where we are willing to bet they will not be using the Beach Boys song of the same name) and an Osmond relative. Yay.


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